Steven Pfau

Say Nephew

On Boyhood, Unclehood, and Queer Mentorship

A profound and illuminating exploration of the mythology of gay uncles and the meaning of queer bonds across generations

In Say Nephew, Steven Pfau blends memoir and criticism to celebrate the gay uncles who shape our sense of queer identity, culture, and history. The most influential figure in Pfau’s gay boyhood—the mentor who set the standard for all his future mentors—was his uncle Bruce.

A charismatic storyteller with a Burt Reynolds–esque bravado (and a mustache, leather jacket, and pair of cowboy boots to match), Bruce came out in 1950s Memphis and lived in New York City through many of the defining events of the gay liberation era. Bruce was both a unique fixture in his nephew’s upbringing and a link in a long lineage of uncles, literal and figurative, who have offered various forms of queer tutelage to younger men.

But what role is the nephew supposed to play in these relationships? And who does he become once his uncles are no longer there to guide him? Both a coming-of-age story and a wide-ranging study, Say Nephew is a wholly original and expansive consideration of queer mentorship.