Book Description
Witty and winkingly playful, Manuel Betancourt’s Hello Stranger explores modern queer romance and the expansive possibilities of ephemeral intimacies
“Hello stranger.” As an opening line, you really can’t ask for better.
Hello Stranger is a book about chance encounters—at a bar, through social media, in a bathhouse—and what a stranger can reveal about who we are and who we could still yet be. A stranger, after all, is a site of endless possibilities.
As Manuel Betancourt looks back on his past relationships, he turns to characters and narratives that helped him question notions of what monogamy and coupledom (and relationships and marriage) can and should look like. From films like Before Sunrise and Cruising to the poetry of Frank O’Hara and the musicals of Stephen Sondheim, Betancourt uses pop culture to make sense of the alluring prospect of forging intimacies with strangers—even, or especially, the strangers within ourselves.
At once a personal excavation and a broad cultural critique, Betancourt grapples with everything from online sexting and real-life cruising to divorces and throuples. Hello Stranger examines the intimacies we crave, value, and oftentimes destroy with rote familiarity.
Praise For This Book
Our Culture Magazine, A Most Anticipated Book of the Year"Betancourt looks to mount a more sweeping argument against the tyrannies of normative sexuality, insisting throughout that friendship and flirtation might be as spiritually affirmative as monogamy . . . A persuasive and well-researched disquisition on the edifying and seductive potential of those we don’t yet know . . . The reader begins to better understand the ways a stranger, wholly and ecstatically oblivious to one’s shame and imperfection, might, in turn, behold us more truthfully than anyone." —Jake Nevins, The New York Times Book Review
“A confident compendium of queer theory through the lens of pop culture . . . Hello Stranger is a lively and intelligent addition to an essential discourse on how not only accessing our desires but also being open about them can make us more human, and perhaps, make for a better world.” —Jessica Ferri, Los Angeles Times
"Intimacy can mean many things, and the idea can turn up in a host of contexts, from sexual to intellectual . . . With this new collection, [Betancourt] explores both moments from his own life and notable pop-culture examples that have reckoned with questions of intimacy. It’s a candid and expansive look at a complicated concept." —Tobias Carroll, InsideHook
"A beautiful collection of essays . . . A collage of thoughts on closeness and what it all means." —Alta
"From the acclaimed author of The Male Gazed comes a new collection of essays about modern intimacy and queer romance. From the bars, to the apps, to bathhouses, a stranger is nothing but a series of possibilities, right? In this collection, Betancourt unpacks his own past relationships, and references many heavy hitters to help drive his points home: Sondheim, Frank O’Hara, and the films Before Sunrise and Cruising. Sign us up." —Tiernan Bertrand-Essington, Queerty
"[Betancourt] is one of the best cultural writers around." —Michelle Hart, Electric Literature
"Betancourt is funny, warm, and brilliant. Reading this collection of essays is like sitting down with your most well-read friend, firing away with connections that show how much our experiences have in common across time and space." —Booklist
"The chapters strike an exhilarating balance between steamy and cerebral . . . The result is an intoxicating invitation to push beyond one’s comfort zone in pursuit of pleasure." —Publishers Weekly
“Betancourt is a fluid stylist, demonstrating his intelligence in investigating subject matter that most readers—queer or otherwise—can relate to. As a witty, intuitive observer of human behavior, he validates rather than demonizes the delicious recklessness of meeting strangers and the intimate thrill of the anonymous encounter . . . A rewarding and insightful exploration of risk, desire, and anonymity.” —Kirkus Reviews
“Betancourt beautifully captures the push and pull of intimacy, where love’s contradictions can both comfort and confine—a compelling exploration of connection and what’s revealed about ourselves in pursuit of it.” —Ryan Fitzgibbon, editor of A Great Gay Book
"What fun! Betancourt encourages us to flirt with a stranger. Inside that interaction is the kernel of so much of queer culture. Strangers can help us to shed shame and rethink our self-image. They can teach us how to be a good neighbor and how to extend care and empathy to people we meet. In Hello Stranger, Betancourt uses film to pick apart comforting fantasies about how relationships are made and sustained, and in the process, he puts strangers in the spotlight, right where they belong." —Marcus McCann, author of Park Cruising
"Hello Stranger is a thoughtful and fearless exploration of the oft-overlook relationships that matter as much, if not more, than our romantic relationship with our 'better half.' With his brilliant examinations and keen observations, Betancourt illustrates what we might discover about ourselves (and others) when we start unpacking these intimate (and sometimes fleeting) relationships through an unfamiliar lens." —Zachary Zane, author of Boyslut
